There’s no wrong choice

Our AdoptionWeston and I celebrated 6 years of marriage by spending a weekend away in San Antonio. The last time we discussed adoption we decided it best to table it until we had bought a house and moved in.

By the time of our anniversary we had done both (even if we’re not totally unpacked). We spent an evening discussing it and talking about our fears and the excitement of growing our family via adoption. We talked different types of adoption and landed on international.

So this week, I’ve started spreadsheets on spreadsheets. Adoption Agencies. Countries. Fundraising strategies, grants, loans.

In all this there’s so many choices. And so many questions. How do you choose a country? How do you choose an agency? What makes them uniquely different? This country isn’t a part of the Hague Convention but does adoptions all the time with good agencies, is it still a good idea? One child? Siblings? What level of special needs do we feel like we can handle?

All these decisions and questions to answer brought a sense of anxiety to me. What if we get it wrong? Is there a wrong and right choice? As we’ve been talking about it this week, Wes said we should start praying about all of it together. Sure, it fills both of our prayers often. It’s something I pray about while I pray with Fitz before naps and bed time. A simple way to bring our one year old in to this process.

But it feels like it’s boiling down to this: God is stirring in us a passion for a country. A peace for a specific agency. I wrote about this when we were talking about moving back to Tyler – how our pastor in Buda said only God can give you peace because it’s a fruit of the Spirit. I rest in that often when making decisions. And there’s really no wrong choice. Neither of us is going to be upset if we don’t go with adopting from the country of our first choice. In the end there’s all these children who need families, who need to know the love of Christ, the Gospel. And in that, I don’t think you can make a wrong choice.


5 thoughts on “There’s no wrong choice

  1. Just make sure nobody is selling you Ethiopia as the country suspended all adoptions a little over a month ago, and over 300 families including our own out of luck (and money). I’d highly recommend looking at a Hague country, as there are a lot more protections both for the adoptive families and the children out there. We were so madly in love with Ethiopia that we ignored the fact that it was not Hague now we’re $18,000 in the hole with no child. International adoptions are now taking on average two to five years, and was always our dream, and now we are thinking about if we had done domestic adoption we’d already have a child (most weights are 6 – 12 months). Not trying to tell you guys what you should do but just wanted to share our experience after 2 years of wasted time.

    1. Africa as a whole was always my dream, but while researching it seemed to be less and less desirable. I saw where Ethiopia suspended adoptions. I’m sorry that’s happened to you! Are you going to try again with another country or try domestically?

      1. Yeah we were interested in Uganda originally and I heard horror stories about parents trying to get kids out of there safely and legally. We are now pursuing domestic adoption which has a 6 to 12 months wait and also doesn’t discriminate based on age, religion, length of marriage, etc. It’s about $35,000 so we’re using our credit card and savings!

  2. I’m beginning this journey myself, so I’m right there with you! Although I’ve decided on China, and I’m pretty certain I’m settled on an agency. It just all happened for us. I hope you find clarity soon.

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