Provision

I expect God to do everything in my time. I expect(ed) God to give Weston a job immediately when we moved to Tyler. Because we believe like this is where God wanted us or it wasn’t where God didn’t want us, I then expected out of the obedience we gave to be immediately rewarded.

I expected nothing to go wrong with our move. I expected us to not be out any extra money even though I knew we were missing things we’d need to buy, like trash cans, shower curtains, light bulbs. In some way, shape, or form, I even expected the move to be a smooth transition for Fitz. I expected him to not have any problems sleeping in a new place, not in our room, in a crib instead of a pack-n-play.

As if obedience means no problems. No worries.

I want Weston to have a job because I know he wants to provide for our family. And I hate seeing us dip into our savings over and over again. Honestly, we’re doing fine and could be fine for probably the rest of the year. The hard part is remembering in February we were on our last month of money, we sold our house, and now it’s replenished. I don’t like being at that place.

We have everything we need and then some. I find myself growing impatient and have to remember that God says we don’t need to worry. That he’ll provide for us. That all good gifts come from Him. Sometimes I like to think that we’re doing fine because I’m such a good budgeter and saver and planner. But before we even got into this season God was providing for us for this season. We have no car payments even though we bought a car in October. We got a refund from our escrow account on our house. Then we sold our house. Then we got another refund for taxes on our house. With Fitz we got a refund from prepaying throughout my pregnancy to my first OB. Selling our house allowed us to put all the money we needed toward the medical bills.

I have to remember that God has been a complete Provider for us during this season. That even when I think we are doing the providing and taking care of ourselves, the gifts, the provisions have come from Him. At no point has he left us hanging. At no point has He not been faithful. That my impatience is unwarranted because this entire time He’s been taking care of us.

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