On Finding Community

Since we’ve been married Wes and I have moved cities/towns 4 times with one of those only being for a few weeks between actual moves.

As most people in college do, we had good friends in college. You spend 4 (and in his case 5.5) years living in close quarters, being involved in things you’d like, and getting to know people. When we moved to Longview it just never clicked no matter how much we tried. We moved and went to a church where everyone was from there and already had their friends. We were there for about 8 months and never felt like we were getting anywhere with building friendships.

Then we moved to Tyler. It still took time, but we found a church where people were about community. They were about helping each other, growing in the Gospel and grace with each other and building lasting real relationships. One couple we were friends with would always say it took about 2 years to really build a friendship. In that time you’ll move past the shallowness, past the looking for common interests. You’ll have a fight or two and reconcile. Someone will go through something tough and you’ll bond walking through that trial with them. You know what? They’re right. It thankfully, took us a little less than that to build some solid friendships and we miss doing life with those people dearly.

But Tyler made us realize what we were always missing. There’s a difference between good friends and friends who are good friends and you also share a love of Christ. Where you’re seeking the same end goal of life and can encourage each other in that. Knowing you’ll probably get told Truth that you need you may not like, but that it’s expected– and really, it’s appreciated.

We moved to College Station in January. And it’s honestly taken until a few weeks ago to feel like we were making any real headway in this friendship thing. Sure, we’ve hung out with several couples over these past 7 months, but it’s taken so much time trying to move past the pleasantries and start building real friendships. It was growing tiring and discouraging. We’d spent so much time in prayer over it and venting our frustrations God answered and allowed us to break that next barrier, and I’m so thankful.

It’s a weird feeling living somewhere knowing you’re here indefinitely. We’ve yet to have that. It’s a mind change and I have to actively remember that it’s okay if friendships take time, because we’re here for the long haul.


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