A year ago today my friend and her dad died. Murdered to be exact. And once again a family that deserves none of the bad things that happened to them, had something horrendous happen to them.
A year ago.
It doesn’t feel like a year has gone by. It still feels like I should be able to pick up my phone and text her and talk about Call the Midwife, or ask for book recommendations. Or now that we live here, annoy her by stopping by her house or work.
A few months ago I stopped by her old work, where we became friends, and her presence is still deeply missed there. Her sassiness, short temper, and her laugh. Her country accent that got stronger on certain words. I peaked into her old office and remembered sitting in those chairs for 30 minutes at a time chatting in the morning to get out of answering phones. And going in there and filing and organizing for her and going to her to ask questions because I was still uncomfortable with having to ask other people questions.
I miss her rolling her eyes at my friends and me often. Hearing her complain about whatever it was that day. Hearing her talk about her best friend’s kids like they were blood family. I miss hearing her talk about her brothers and her grampaw and how much pride and love she had for them.
This past weekend my best friends came in town and we went and saw her mom. And we took a walk by her old house and just stood there. A house that was so very her and she’d let anyone stay with her on a moment’s notice.
Her mom made a comment Saturday about how the anniversary of her and her dad’s death couldn’t be on a better day. The day after Easter. The culmination of the Gospel. We all hurt. And some days it’s like you can’t stand it all. But there’s the Gospel. There’s the truth of salvation and forgiveness. There’s the truth that they are praising God and are spending eternity with Him. There’s the truth that we have the capacity to forgive the man who did this. That we don’t have to let our anger and sadness rule our lives. But that there is still joy and a reason this has all happened.
A year. A year.
Today we are supposed to do something kind for someone else in honor of her and her dad. Because they were both like that. They were generous and kind hearted and had the humility to never tell anyone about the things they did.
You will forever have an impact on my life.