The past two weeks have been absolutely packed with going away dinners/parties, dinners with friends and late night hang outs. We’ve tried to pack in as much as possible with those friends we love here in Tyler.
Weston is the type that he can think through something and sit in that feeling immediately. Things often take a lot longer to hit me emotionally. The other night we had dinner with some friends then were up until 2am with them talking and enjoying each other’s company. Weston left and said that he almost cried in there (and he’s known as “Robot Weston” to most of our friends). We walked home and he was really sad. I was… sad… but not like Weston. For me, it still doesn’t feel like we’re really leaving. So the sadness isn’t really there. If I really sit and allow myself to dwell on it, I can get there, but it still all seems really far off. And I have really high expectations that our friends will come visit us and we’ll come back to visit them in Tyler. We don’t have kids, nothing is stopping most of us from making this happen.
But as we’re all getting ready for bed, we all start texting and that helped spur the emotions on. I sat there and realized they aren’t going to be within walking distance to hang out with. I’m not going to be able to work out in the morning with the wife. We won’t be able to text in the middle of the day to make dinner plans or for the four of us to hang out. We won’t see them at church. And all those times of taking for granted that they’re this close seemed really stupid for us to have done.
You know those friends who increase your affections for the Gospel? That’s these people. They’ve been honest with us. They laugh with us. And for me, she was probably my first friend with whom I shared a deep love of Jesus. I hadn’t had that. And a friendship with her made me realize the depth that brings to a friendship and how important it is to surround yourself with other Christ-centered people.
So, I laid there that night and thought about how I was going to have to make new friends. That for awhile it’ll be lonely in Bryan and that I’m thankful I’m not single, moving alone. I do have Weston. But we have to start this friend making thing over again. And that’s a really scary thought for me. I hate groups and small talk. But that’s what I get to do for awhile again until deeper relationships build. It’s another time I’m thankful for Weston who wades the waters of conversation like a pro.
All of this is very bittersweet. While we definitely feel like this is the right thing for us to do, we’ve made amazing friends here. We have a phenomenal church community here. It’s sad to leave them. But I do have high hopes of staying friends with these people. God has used them so much in mine and Weston’s lives. And I’ll be forever thankful for these two and a half years in Tyler.