Over the past couple of weeks the thought of moving has gone from exciting to sad back to exciting, to anxiety ridden, to exciting, to sad, and everywhere again.
We are SO excited to move to Bryan and plant roots and get into community and start life there. As real adults. You know, who have hit all the major milestones before having kids. Marriage? Check. Real jobs? Check. Buy a house? Check.
But whenever I have the opportunity to sit and mull over our move, I do get sad. And I get a little worried. We’ve been able to spend almost 2.5 years here in Tyler making friends whom I love. I’m curious who we’ll actually stay in touch with. Will all these people who say they’ll come visit actually do so? Will we make it back to Tyler?
I get sad about not getting to workout in the mornings with one of my friends. Or girls brunch or pedicures or late nights with couples playing games, drinking coffee and sitting around a fire in the winter. I get sad that I won’t get to meet with a friend a couple of times a month and talk Jesus and life.
I get worried…maybe nervous is a better word, about having to make new friends. I don’t like meeting new people. I am terrible at small talk. I’m terrible at groups of people. I’m terrible at believing people actually want to hang out with me. And so the thought of going to a new church, a smaller church at that, where I have to start all over again is scary. We’re not in college this time around and won’t have classes and organizations to meet more people. We’re moving to a college town where the typical person is a transient one. So we’re going to be seeking long term deep relationships with people who probably won’t be there long term. Am I actually ready for this?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m super super excited, too. I’m so excited to own a house. I’m excited to meet new people (even if I don’t like doing it). I’m excited for a new adventure. I’m excited to make this new house a home and I’m even excited for the remodeling projects that will come over the next couple of years. I’m excited to have a big enough space to host people and welcome people into our home. I’m excited to actually meet neighbors and have kids there. I’m excited for good coffee shops and good food and good date night things to do. I’m excited for a lot.
This is so much more emotion than I ever experienced in the moves to 12 different schools, 8 state moves, and even more house moves in all of that. It’s definitely different as the adult making the move.
My prayer is that this move is made easily. That we keep in touch with the friends we’ve made here and we accept the distance in the relationship that comes with physical distance. I pray that we find Gospel community in College Station and get plugged in quickly. And I pray that I recognize God’s presence in both the exciting happy times, and the times where I feel lonely.