In April I had a friend die. She shouldn’t have gone. She was far too young. If life were fair she’d still be alive until she’s like 80. My friends and I would be able to go back to College Station and bug her all the time, go get shakers at La Bodega, eat tacos at PePe’s, and hear her rant about people she dislikes and talk about her brothers and see how proud she is of them. If life was fair.
But it’s not. She’s no longer with us. Her brother is no longer with us. Her dad is no longer with us. And it hurts. Today is her birthday. And everyone who knew her is surely sad today. There’s no way you couldn’t be.
In April I had to focus on the Gospel to make it through. I had to focus on the fact that sin has made life unfair. The man who did this to her and her dad is a sinner, but I am too. He may have done something “worse” but my bad attitudes, disobedience, small white lies, anger all make me just as worthy of death as him. When I find myself angry I go back to the Gospel. Jesus died for all sinners. Not just for the ones like me who have “respectable sins”, but also the murderers, the adulterers, the ones we like to think we are better than. God’s love knows no bounds. His desire is that ALL might be saved.
In April and leading up to this day I’ve had to rest in the Gospel. In that God’s mercies are new every morning. He gives us enough mercy and grace to face each day’s trials. There’s nothing in this world that can make the pain and hurt and missing her go away. Nothing. But God is good. He is the ultimate Comforter. He gives us rest. He gives us peace. He gives us joy in the midst of hard times.