I’m sitting here between classes, listening to music. The song “What Do I Know of Holy” by Addison Road came on. Heard it a tons of times. This time though, a section of the lyrics stuck out.
I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees
This was me for months. I desperately wanted to be at that point of being down on my knees, but it just wasn’t coming. A few weeks ago I was shown forgiveness beyond what I had ever been shown before. The person then said, “Hopefully now you understand love a little bit better.” Oh, after that, I understood love better for sure. I also understood God a little better. By understood, I mean that I experienced grace from someone that shined a little light on just how much I don’t deserve God’s grace. Before that forgiveness from the person, I had been completely torn up, broken, about the whole situation and when talking to God I felt like I didn’t deserve to have God listen to me. I was, and still am, completely and utterly undeserving of a God who is perfect to take the time to listen and care about me. That little hint and the small hints I am continuing to see of God really are humbling and bringing me down to my knees.